Day 27- The Past Bit My Ass

Well, my brother is a dick some days. He read through my old text messages and looked at every single one I still had saved on my phone from my ex. Then he asked me about them. Maybe I'm just moody, but I hated him for digging through my phone just to look at what that ass hole texted me.

The ass hole in question (the ex boyfriend) actually dumped me for another girl after I made two different trips- 3 hours one way- without my parents' knowledge to go see him. He said that she was the one he kept thinking at. Wow. It sucks so bad when someone tells you that- especially through a damn text message. I kind of stalked out her profile on Facebook. She's thin, but so UGLY! And I'm not really a mean person, but when I say that I feel more attractive than her, I'm not lying. She's very very thin though. Thinner than me at least. If I was thin then maybe he wouldn't have dumped me for her. I hate this.

Bringing up those text messages brought back some really sucky feelings.

I was doing fine food-wise today really. I didn't eat breakfast, just coffee, but I knew we'd go out to eat. We got Chinese food. I had Mongolian Beef, one crab ragoon, a spring roll, fried rice, and a fortune cookie for a grand total of around 500 calories. I had a couple pieces of taffy and a 100 calorie pack of Cheese-its for a net total of 610 calories.Then my mum had to ruin my damn control by having me make the pizza. I ended up having more than one 2" by 2" slice. So now I have nearly 300 calories to burn off. I'm hopping on the ellipticle for at least 20 minutes to burn it off, depending on speed and intensity. I feel bloated and gross. Soooo tempted to purge, but I'm trying to resist since I just took my vitamins too. Yuck.

I work stocking shelves for 5 hours tomorrow, so I'll just eat my usual cereal for breakfast, and no lunch. I wonder how many calories I would burn stocking that long? At least 400? I need to find a really accurate calorie burning calculator!

We're fixing cheeseburgers tomorrow night though. Lord, how I love those things. I don't know what to do! I'm going to try to just eat half and then take a long bike ride afterward.

I can never be perfect without control and Ana.