Day 16- Back Off

I was doing fine this morning with counting calories. 3/4 cup Fruit Loops (110), coffee (25), and 1/4 cup soy milk (40) for a total of 175 calories. I got to 3rd hour study hall and my stomach was rumbling. One of my best friends, who I care about very much, but is incredibly overweight offered me some of her M&Ms. In my weakness I took 3! That gives me 30 more calories. I feel so disgusting. I pinched myself the whole time I took my time dissolving them in my mouth. It hurt, but the pain felt like a very just punishment. Thank God I said "no" when she offered me more, then I escaped to the library to write here.

Ugh. I need more time to lose weight! I don't know if I can even lose one lb. a day! I feel rather down right now. I think I'll just have a banana or salad for lunch. I need to be careful when I destroy my food- my friends took more notice of it today than they did before.

Note, in order to stay strong and in control, DON'T TEll ANYONE ABOUT ANA! I know it's hard sometimes and you just want someone to talk to, but that's why there are blogs out there and ana support groups. Normal, fat people won't understand and will take it upon themselves to make you "better" fatter. Do not tell!

Let them watch as you become thin and beautiful. 

Let them be jealous. 

Let them want to be just like you. 

Just don't ever tell them.