Thursday, May 13, 2010

Day 10- Rubber Bands and Such

Well, I "borrowed" a rubber band from the library today. I feel absolutely disgusting again. The weather is humid, but still cold so I feel uncomfortably sticky. Yuck. I caved and had a breakfast bar this morning at school. I'm sure the calories in it were astounding, but I couldn't stop myself from eating it! I feel terrible now and the grease in it just upset my stomach.

I'm going to start going on long bike rides now once the rain stops. I have this lovely yellow bike that I want to take to college with me, but I hardly ride it so my parents say it'd just take up too much space- I'm going to prove them wrong!

It's time to step on the scale again. I'm getting rather desperate here. My cravings for chocolate and sweets are back and I'm still compulsive whenever I eat. I'm so damn scared I won't lose any weight. I don't want to be FAT anymore.

I need support. I'm starting to find more ana communities out there. It's so hard to do things alone. An Ana buddy is something I need!

Notice how the word FAT looks incredibly big and ugly?

Now look at THIN. It's a longer word and yet it still seems to float off the page and take less room.

I'm going to be that word- the perfect emulation of it. Thin.....thin......thin.......thin.....THIN.

1 comment:

Inspirateur said...

I found that the elastic band was a good way of stopping cravings. Every time my stomach would rumble, i would snap the elastic band on my wrist!

Also, watching Supersize vs superskinny (Im guessing ur from america or somewhere outside of the uk, and i dont know if u have it there)... anyway, it's a show where they take one fat person and one skinny person and make them swap diets for a week.. but it gives good tips on what kinds of food s the rele skinny ppl are eating!

Good Luck