Sunday, February 27, 2011

Rumination....

My ex-boyfriend got married last night. It's actually a really weird feeling. I don't know if I'm sad, upset, happy, or unaffected. I keep looking through the photos I have of us together, always happy. I've just been reflecting on the past a lot today now. I'm sitting in my dorm room alone. I don't want to be sad, truthfully I'm not sure if there is a reason to be sad. But I do feel something. Is it loneliness?

I feel selfish, wishing I had someone to share my days with, to rant about how many exams I have this week, and just to be held safe in the arms of someone who might love me.

Maybe if I were just thinner, then someone would love me. Maybe maybe maybe.

Today is a new day. I am beginning the ABC with a fresh start. I know I can do this.

And I will do it for me. No matter how much I wish to be with someone, I must do this for me or else I will never be happy once a goal is reached.

Stay Strong.

4 comments:

Tai said...

That is not a selfish thought at all. Humans are not made to be solitary, they are meant to share their lives with others. Until you find that person, I hope that this is a space that you can do all of those things.

Be happy for you.

Inspirateur said...

I agree with Tai.. human beings are social creatures by nature and, thus, seek that companionship!

That photo is so beautiful!

good luck on your diet!
xxxx

Dani said...

i agree wiht the otehr 2 girls hun

Violet said...

Thanks so much, girls. You've made me feel much much better. Love you lots <3