What Doesn't Hurt

I love the feeling in my stomach now. It's a thing called emptiness. If I didn't love God so much, I would say that emptiness is almost a thing of worship to me. Doesn't that sound terrible? I'm sitting here sipping my diet Canada Dry, knowing that I've only had an intake of 450 calories today. All of my friends and wing-mates are at the cafe right now eating dinner. Even A, who I am still convinced is anorexic too, is at the cafe eating. But I am strong. I sit here and do not eat. It feels good.Oh, so good.

Thank you all for your lovely comments from my last post. I am so happy to be back and more on track than ever before. Your comments keep me going every day when my neighbors offer me cookies or candy. I love to be able to have the power to say "no" or make only pre-calculated "yes"s when I have a few more calories available to take in.

I'm pretty sure T is a total player. I think just being in a new environment with people I have never met and boys who actually look at me and wish to talk more has made my mind clouded with silly crushes and girlish fantasies. It's almost embarrassing to realize that I have let myself slip into my naive self that existed in high school. So for now, I need to find my own contentness in myself and where I am at right now. T can text me or see me if he wishes, but I will not make the first move. Nope. Not me. If he wants to see more of me, well, he knows what room I'm in and when visiting hours are.

I love independence.

Stay strong, my lovely girls!

Lots of love, Violet!