Someday My Prince Will Come

My lovely Skinnys! I've missed you so so so much! I apologize profusely for not posting for what seems like ages. College is by far much more busier than I have anticipated. So now I am back and it's time for a wonderful update.

I have been doing FANTASTIC. Really. Getting out from under the watchful eye of my parents is a total blessing. No one here questions what I eat or how frequently I do so. I am free to choose to either eat or not eat anything at all. It's so wonderful and I've already lost weight.

The first day, driving and move-in day, I only had 250 calories. I drank an Ensure before leaving in the morning, had coffee and water during the entire 4-hour drive, and only had dry lettuce leaves and fruit when we arrived. (raw fruits and veggies are my safety foods)

The second day I had around 400 calories, the next 600 calories, then 400 calories, and then today I've had 50 calories so far. I feel absolutely fan-freaking-tastic! I almost feel like I'm cheating right now because it is all becoming so easy.

My roomie is super super awesome. Yes, she is quite overweight, but it is due to side effects from a medication. So she is trying to lose weight, eats all organic food, cannot eat pizza or bread, only drinks soy milk, and is a coffee junkie. We are the perfect match for each other! There is hardly any junk food in our room (the stuff that is is hers) (actually, all of the food in the room besides my Ensure, soymilk, coffee, and oatmeal are hers so I never touch it).

I feel so alive here! I am attending a private Christian college and it is such and incredible place! There are at least 2 girls on my wing who are very much ana. I love them both, but am just scared of trying to ask about why they're so thin (99% positive they're pro-ana). For now, I shall just envy how tiny they are and hope that as we become closer, we can open up more and support each other.

For the first time in a very long time guys are paying attention to me. I've made so many new friends, both guys and girls. There is this one guy, T., who I really like and seems to really like me back. I'm super scared of moving too fast and having my heart broken, so shoot me some luck and keep me in your prayers (it's okay if your not religious though : ) ) We're going together to a concert by an indie rock band tomorrow evening here in town. I'm really excited. I'm just hoping that I'm not reading the signs wrong. Several girls on my wing have commented that he seems to really really like me. We'll just have to wait and see I suppose!

I'm going out with A (my roomie) and her grandparents tonight for dinner. They've been really wanting to meet me and tonight was the perfect date to do it. I'm just hoping I'll stick with a salad or something super healthy. I know I can resist!

I can see a bit more than just the outline of my collar bones now. They look so lovely and I can't wait for more. One of my friends gave me a piggy back ride and exclaimed that I was all muscle. I sat on another girl's lap when we drove to a local sand volleyball court and said that I had a very bony butt. T even commented on my arm muscles (hardly any fat left there now!).  All in all, everyone seems to think I'm so thin. I can't wait to see their reactions when I'm 120 lbs, then 110 lbs, then 100 lbs! I haven't had a chance to weigh-in for a while since my room is carpeted and the bathroom tiles are super uneven. But I know 've lost some weight in the way my clothes look and fit and just how I feel in general.

Sorry for the length of this post darlings! I've had so much to tell you about the past couple days. I'll end now, especially since I need to finish up my psych reading for tomorrow. I promise I'll be back soon and start commenting once more on your blogs.

Stay strong, lovelies!

Love, Violet