The Perks of Being Incredibly Ill...

I don't know what I had, but I was so sick. Yesterday was the first day I was actually out of my hall/dorm- it was to go to the doctor then pick up some antibiotics.

Symptoms? The first time I actually ate something Sunday night, I ran to the bathroom and shit it out only 15 minutes later. (sorry for the graphic...you probably didn't need to know that whatsoever and I appologize immensely). So I was super dizzy, nearly blacked out once. I've been coughing up endless tons of crap from my lungs. I finally had the decent sense to get my butt to the local clinic on campus after missing 5 days of classes and not coming out of my room except to use the bathroom for nearly a week.

Diagnoses? Severe viral/bacterial infection in my lungs. Constant sinus/nasal drainage. Both ears red and slightly infected. On the verge of phenumonia. Again, I really am stupid for not getting to the doctor sooner. So now I'm on antibiotics that should clear out my lungs and prevent any possible infections, as well as heal whatever is messed up in my colon. I salute thee, modern medicine.

But of course, there really have been perks to being this severely sick. Naturally, I've increased my list of movies watched by at least 15 (what else do you do in bed when sick?). I also had plenty of time to get assignments done and exams studied for. But the best part of being sick? I've pretty much eaten nothing this entire week. The only thing that didn't make me run to the bathroom after finishing it was toast with a little bit of peanut butter (150 calories). So my maximum calories per day ranged from 300 to 450. Not bad at all! I look quite a bit thinner and my collar bones are now much easier to see and my ribs have begun to emerge. I was a bit frightened that I was too sick when my nails turned blue and my eyes became sunken, so I gave in and bought a bunch of Powerade (some zero calories, others regular 200). Obviously I was super dehydrated. My dark circles have nearly disappeared and my nails are beginning to turn back to a purply-pink color. 

I had a dream last night that I was standing in front of a mirror without any clothes on. I sucked in my stomach and suddenly all my ribs and other bones all over my body appeared. But my stomach kept on closing in until it was pressing on my lungs.....    I woke up gasping for breath. Part of me was horrified at my dream, but another larger part of me felt envy- I want those bones!

I can't wait to get back to the gym on Monday. I am so anxious and jittery to get back to working out long and hard with the weights and cardio machines. I don't want to wait until the weekend is over, but I don't want to risk getting sicker again and pushing back working out even further because of it. I've come to realize that I really am addicted to exercise. Both of my parents and another friend commented not to get "too obessed" or "go too far" with the gym thing. Instead of making me worried, it makes me feel a bit of pride and a strong desire to work even harder. Maybe my mind is more twisted than I thought. 

Sorry for the endless post. It just feels like I haven't been on in a really long time. Days seem to drag when all you do is watch movies and sleep for hours on end. I've really missed blogging and all of you. I'm going to take some time today to catch up where you all are at- and I'm looking forward to it.

I hope you're all kicking off a great start to the weekend to have someone sweet to cuddle with during a movie (I need me one of those).

Love, Violet